It was my privilege to be married to a wonderful woman, wife and help meet for 56 plus years. So, I take a respite from writing about our mission work to share some remembrances of my wife of many years, sharing some of her life that many of you don’t know.
She was known as Barbara to her family, but when she started school, there were simply too many Barbaras, so the teacher called her by her middle name, Nannette., and so she was Nannette for most of the rest of her life until she retired and had to deal with Social Security, health insurance, etc. There were five children in the family, three boys and two girls. Nannette and Edwin were the youngest by a number of years, the two older boys were grown and married as Nannette was growing up. Her dad teased her about getting married someday, but she responded “I wasn’t thiggering on it.” Perhaps it was because her brother Edwin also caused her grief.
She was born Barbara Nannette Webb, in the small community of Dyess, Arkansas. The founder of this community purchased the land which was a buffalo wallow, and built a community of some 300 homes available at a low cost during the “New Deal” era. Her father was a sharecropper and likely rented the house they lived in, which was a few houses down from the Johnny Cash family. In fact Johnny’s older brother was their paper boy. Mr Webb often invited him to supper, according to Nannette. She also indicated that she attended the funeral when he was tragically killed.
Around the age of four, the Webbs moved to Wilson, Arkansas, a somewhat larger town just a few miles from Dyess. Here Nannette lived until her father died and she and her mother moved to Little Rock to live with her sister, Magalene. Clarence (father) loved to hunt, and had two hunting dogs. He often hunted with Mr. Wilson, who owned a general store there. In High School, Nannette became a cheerleader, sang in the school choir, and joined the First Baptist Church as a teenager. She recalls that some of her friends came by for a vist and led her to the Lord. She became interested in missions, and dedicated her life to serve the Lord as a foreign missionary. Recently, she visited the church and was privileged to meet an older member of the church who remembered the time Nannette made her decision. She developed her singing voice under the tutelage of “Ms Olive.” who directed the school and/or church choir.
The church and the pastor were interested in outreach and began a mission project there. She remembers doing outdoor services there to start a church. She also recalled that some members of the black community would come to their evening services because it was too far to travel to their own church. Some of the young people would go sit with them and enjoyed how they participated in the services, moving their hands to “build up the walls of Jerusalem.” She recalled inviting a young mother to their revival services with her father at home to watch her children. Unfortunately the father fell asleep and his cigarette caught the house on fire and he perished along with her two babies. Perhaps this stirred a compassionate heart in her which would continue the rest of her life. She recalled that during High School, the P.E. teacher taught them to read the sports section, and also under his leadership they built a 9 hole golf course. As a cheerleader, they had to do exercises during the time the football team was practicing.
Nannette had a part-time job at the general store and made some pocket money there. From time to time, some of her siblings would come back “home” with their children to live for a short time. This meant Nannette had no room of her own, but had to share with nieces and nephews. When her sister asked why she didn’t invite her friends over for the night, she replied “Where would they sleep?” Her relations with her in-laws was tenuous at best, and sometimes confrontive, especially when it involved their account at the general store. When her mother and a sister-in-law were going through Nannette’s things, the sister-in-law saw a doll that belonged to Nannette. She said “Well, she won’t need this” and proceeded to take it for her child. Nannette’s mother stopped her cold, indicating that it was Nannette’s and would remain hers.
Early in her life, Nannetter had a keen understanding of respect and courtesy for all people. During these days of segregation in virtually every aspect of community life, the black schools often struggled financially, having to make do with older and outdated equipment. This was certainly true in Wilson, as the coaches at the African-America school would often come to the white high school to bet discarded or older sports equipment not being used by them. On one occasion, the coach from the black school came looking for baseball equipment. Nannette called him sir, and treated him with respect as she had been taught. The white coach offered broken or damaged equipment which the black coach refused. Later, Nannette talked to the coach about his offer, and to her surprise, he scolded her for how she treated the black coach. She stood her ground, and was reported to the principal. As I recall, the principal was a bit more understanding. Throughout her life, she demonstrated a genuine respect and care for people of all races, which was a valuable trait for someone embarking on a missionary career.
Her relationship with her father was a bit strained at times. He had joined the Church of Christ, and when he was injured and was in bed, some members of the church would come by to bring communion to him. He often asked her mother “Where do you Baptists find a mourner’s bench mentioned in the Bible?” Nannette recalls that once her mother was making biscuits and her father came in to ask her that question again. SHe reportedly plunged her hands into the biscuit dough and replied “Go get a Bible and I will show you.” When he returned she said “My hands are in the biscuit dough, you find it.” He said “Where would I find it?” Mrs. Webb responded “It’s in the same passage where you Church of Christ get your debates and your blackboards.” Conversation ended. She was surprised when after she was baptized her father asked why she did not invite him, She said “I didn’t think you would want to come.” Clarence died while Nannette was in High School and this meant moving out of the house in WIlson. It was traumatic, as she returned home to find their possessions on the sidewalk.. So they had to find lodging elsewhere.
Magalen (Nannette’s older sister) provided a home for she and her mother. Nannette began attending Calvary Baptist Church in Little Rock and sang in the choir. Since she lacked sufficient funding to attend college, Magalen also found Nannette employment at the department store where she worked. Calvary Baptist church helped to provide the funds for college, so after a year she enrolled in Ouachita Baptist College and pursued a major in religion. Focusing on her desire to serve the Lord overseas, she let it be known that she was unavailable as a wife to prospective suitors. As she often said “I would not have you ignorant brethren.”
She had a good experience at Ouachita, being elected “Mayday Queen,” and also serving as WMU president. Some of the female students objected because according to them she didn’t attend the meetings. Nevertheless she continued to serve. Occasionally she would repeat the yell that was used at sporting events “O-U-A-C-H-I-TA.” Of course, being a resident of Arkansas, she knew how to “call the hogs, a yell primarily used by the University of Arkansas, but acknowledged and practiced by many Arkansas. In case you have never heard it, it goes like this “Woooooooo-pig—Sooey!!” This is repeated three or more times. Then “Razorbacks!”
While at Ouachita she made many friends, some whom she saw later at Seminary and other places on the mission field. The next chapter will focus on her seminary experience and her meeting with her life-long partner.
Nannette at Seminary
In the fall of 1961, Nannette rode the train from Little Rock to Fort Worth with several of her future classmates. One of her friends boarded the train in Malvern, a town a few miles south of Little Rock. As she recalls, Nannette was so glad to see her, and said that if her friend had not joined her on the trip, she was going to get off. According to her friend, they wore hats and gloves. That was so characteristic of Nannette–she always dressed appropriately. It was rather unusual that there was an influx of younger students that fall, both male and female. Nannette would room with her classmate from Ouachita.
Nannette first saw Milton at a Mission Fellowship meeting on the Seminary campus. He led the singing and sang in a men’s quartet. She was impressed with him, and asked her Ouachita classmates about him. One of her friends, an ethnic Japanese, responded tersely “Lites doesn’t have it.” But being Nannette, she decided to make up her own mind.
Several days later, Nannette entered the cafeteria along with some of her fellow female classmates. When she spotted Milton sitting by himself at a table, she forsook her companions and joined him. During their first conversation, Nannette asked Milton if he were a mission volunteer. (She had already made a decision to be a foreign missionary years earlier.) Perhaps since Milton was active in the Missions Fellowship she assumed that he was also a mission volunteer. He responded that he was not, and wondered why she would ask that question.
In later years, they had many good laughs that the first question she asked Milton was if he were a missions volunteer. What was humorous about the question was that while in college Nannette had decided she was going to the mission field as a single missionary, declaring “I would not have you ignorant brethren” to those who might consider persuading her to take a different course.
After their first meeting, Milton decided to ask Nannette out on a date, and called Barnard Hall (female dorm on campus) where Nannette was staying. Unfortunately he forgot her last name and mistakenly asked for Nannette Parker. Interestingly enough, it was Celeste Parker, Nannette’s friend who answered the phone. She knew who he was and who he was calling, and promptly called Nannette to the phone. In spite of the fact that he did not remember her last name, she decided to go out with him.
During their courtship, their dating experiences were of a wide variety. One of their first dates was a visit to the Texas State Fair. As they strolled down the Midway, Milton became enthralled by a performer at one of the booths. Nannette had trouble understanding how her classical musician boy friend would want to spend time listening to a Country Western performer. For Milton, however, it was almost magical, for he had grown up listening to Hank Thompson on the radio, and this was his first chance to see and hear him in person. This was still a mystery to her.
Another date was to attend a football game involving Milton’s alma mater Louisiana Tech and the University of Arlington, which at that time had a football team. Sadly, the Tech team lost on a fluke play. However, these dates served to draw the two closer in their relationship.
One of their favorite dates was on the banks of Lake Benbrook, where they read poetry to each other. The date that decided their relationship was a visit to Eagle Mountain Baptist Church, where Milton was the music director. The pastor taught the Sunday School class they attended, and introduced Nannette as his fiancé. He later tried to correct the pastor, who feigned ignorance as to the meaning of “fiancé” There is little doubt that Rev. Earl knew exactly what he was doing.
After returning to the Seminary campus, Milton stopped in front of the Women’s Dorm. As they continued their conversation, Milton asked Nannette If she remembered what the pastor had said. She indicated that she did remember that she was introduced as his fiancée. Milton replied, “I second the motion,” which was his way of proposing. She accepted, and they were engaged, and she really became his fiancé.
The news of their engagement spread quickly on the Seminary campus. Due in part to the number of younger students enrolled there, dating among the student body seemed to be at an all-time high. As a result, more serious relationships developed, and of course, some of these
led to engagements. The dean of women at the time was the widow of a prominent Baptist pastor. She had had some experience at the college level, but appeared to have an unrealistic expectation of the female seminary student. When word of Nannette’s engagement reached her ears, she immediately called her in for a counseling session. The Dean expressed her unhappiness over the spate of engagements on campus, saying “You girls start these involvements so quickly before you get into the swing of things.” Those who heard these words could not imagine what she meant by the “swing of things.” Nevertheless, she addressed the issue with Nannette directly, asking her point-blank “My dear, have you prayed about it?” To which Nannette replied innocently “Yes ma’am, for 24 years.” (That was her age at the time.)
The relationship between Nannette and Milton continued to deepen through the fall semester, as they began to plan their future together. One night, they attended the opera “Boris Godunov” starring the famous basso Jerome Hines. As the opera seemed to drag on, the couple decided to make an early exit and headed for Howard Johnsons for refreshments. To their dismay, the pecan pie was not completely thawed, leaving them no alternative but to forsake the sweets for another venue. After being seated in the car, Milton asked Nannette what she wanted to do, and she said “Surprise me!” Whereupon, he opened the glove compartment and brought out the engagement ring he had placed there earlier. She was surprised (pleasantly) and their engagement was official!!
Each semester the Missions Department of the Seminary sponsored a Missions Day chapel. The emphasis of course was on Foreign Missions, featuring missionaries or mission volunteers as speakers and an extended invitation time. Some accused the missions professors of walking up and down the aisles handing out passports. Nevertheless, it was during this chapel time that Milton heard the voice of the Lord calling “Whom shall I send?” and he answered, “Here am I.”
By coincidence, the couple who provided counseling at this service was Don and Vi Orr, music missionaries to Colombia, where Milton and Nannette would serve much later in their career as missionaries.
Both Nannette and Milton were extremely happy with his decision, as were their Seminary friends and acquaintances. But when her friends shared this news with the Dean of Women, she expressed concern that Nannette did not make a decision also. She was informed that Nannette was already a mission volunteer, to which she replied “Well, she did not impress me as the missionary type.”
Preparations for a life together
As the Fall semester drew to a close, the couple made some definite plans for their wedding, setting the date for September of the following year 1962. Nannette made the decision to leave Seminary after the end of the semester, and go back “home” to Little Rock to join her mother who was living there with Nannette’s sister. She would begin working at the department store where her sister was employed, making final preparations for the wedding. Milton would complete the Spring semester, and begin working in earnest on his master’s thesis. He did complete the project on time, and looked forward to graduation during the summer.
After meeting with a Foreign Mission Board representative, they learned that Milton would need several years of practical experience serving in a local church, in addition to more theology hours. As they prayed about their future place of employment, they met with the pastor of a Texas church, whom they would meet some years later and with whom they would serve together in Taiwan. He did not choose to recommend Milton to his church, however. But God had other plans, as several months later the pastor of Immanuel Baptist Church in Savannah, Georgia would call, inviting him to come in view of a call.
But I’m getting ahead of the story.
Milton continued to lead the music at Eagle Mountain Baptist Church, completing classes for the Fall semester and beginning work on his thesis. The time came for Nannette to meet “the folks” and made the short flight from Little Rock to Shreveport, where Milton met her and drove on down to his home in the Mt. Zion community, a few miles north of Many, Louisiana. Nannette was a bit concerned about meeting his parents, because that morning at her sister’s house she had a bit of egg nog, that contained some “nog.” All went well, except for a moment of panic when she became locked in the bathroom due to the faulty door handle.
As for the “nog” concern, it never came up in the conversation. But Milton’s Dad shared with her that early in his marriage he was “bad to drink.” And one night he came home without the car, not remembering where it was. Apparently he and Milton’s mother came to an understanding because after that he stated that he never drank again. Whether or not he could detect the “nog” on Nannette’s breath no one ever knew but him.
Following the Christmas break, Milton returned to Seminary for the Spring semester, and Nannette continued working at Kempner’s Department store. The days seemed to pass rather quickly, and soon the summer term arrived, Milton’s last semester in the Master’s program. It was a hectic time, completing work on his thesis and making plans for the wedding. As graduation approached, he was able to make the deadline and submitted the thesis for approval. Next he would meet with the music faculty for his oral exams, all of which moved along rather smoothly.
Unexpectedly, he received a call from the pastor of the Immanuel Baptist Church in Savannah, Georgia, who invited him out for an interview. During the summer of 1961, Milton had served as a Summer Approved Worker for the Georgia Baptist Church Music Department under the supervision of Dr. Paul McCommon. No doubt Dr. McCommon had recommended him to several different churches, as he received several invitations to visit, along with the invite from Immanuel. With graduation over, and the wedding on the horizon, the future seemed bright as Milton flew to Savannah to look the situation over there and to meet with several of the other churches that had extended an invitation. After a brief visit with two of the other churches, he felt the Lord leading him to accept the call of Immanuel, because that would be the best fit for he and his new bride.
During some of his research, Milton had read much about Savannah, its history, its beauty and its strategic importance during the British occupation. His visit did nothing to diminish his fascination with the city, and the position at the church seemed ideal for a newly-wed couple to begin their service for the Lord in the field of music.
The church extended a call, and Milton accepted, with September 1st as the target date for beginning his responsibility as Music Minister for Immanuel Baptist Church. Milton flew back to Fort Worth to complete his graduation and prepare for the wedding. Since the church had specified September 1st as the time to assume his ministry there, the couple changed their wedding date to August 2nd in order to allow sufficient time for the wedding and travel to Savannah.
Since the church had specified September 1st as the time to assume his ministry there, the couple changed their wedding date to August 2nd in order to allow sufficient time for the wedding and travel to Savannah.
The Wedding, Honeymoon, and Travel to Savannah
Prior to the wedding Milton drove to Little Rock and began meeting Nannette’s family.
Arrangements for the wedding were all set: The wedding would be held at the Calvary Baptist Church in Little Rock, with the Rev Paul Fox, pastor, presiding. Magalene, Nannette’s sister, would serve as Matron of Honor, Bill McNatt, Milton’s Seminary room-mate, would be Milton’s best man. Lilly McKnight, Nannette’s college classmate would play the piano. Edwina Thedford, soloist, and other family members would complete the wedding ensemble.
Milton’s father, who owned a bakery in Many, LA, took responsibility for the wedding cake, and brought it by car all the way to Little Rock, causing some concern among the extended family. However, the cake made the trip fine, and was a thing of beauty, in addition to being very delicious. Family members who had had concerns were relieved, to say the least.
The day of the wedding arrived, and with all preparations having been made, the wedding proceeded according to schedule. That morning during his devotions, Milton read the passage from Psalm 2:8 “Ask of Me, and I will make the nations Your inheritance and the ends of the earth Your possession.” (HSCB). This passage seemed to have implications for future foreign missionary service.
The music for the wedding did not include the traditional Wedding March, but instead a Trumpet Tune by Stanley (previously attributed to Purcell) was chosen. Rev Paul Fox continued to refer to the Wedding March during the rehearsal, sounding “Pum Pump Pum Pum,” in spite of efforts to correct him. For her wedding gown, Nannette had chosen one belonging to a classmate of hers. Although measurements seemed to be correct prior to the wedding, it proved to be a bit too long. As Nannette proceeded down the aisle, she began stepping on the front part of the dress. Fortunately, she never tripped, but the procession down the aisle took a bit longer than usual, and with each mis-step, Nannette’s sister would react noticeably. Finally, she reached the altar, and the ceremony continued without another hitch. During the final solo, with Nannette and Milton kneeling before the pastor, Rev Fox whispered to Nannette, “My Dear, when you turn around and start back down the aisle, be sure to pick up your skirt so you don’t trip.” Advice was received and taken to heart. They made it down the aisle without incident.
The reception was wonderful and they greeted many friends and relatives who had come for the wedding, some traveling long distances. Nannette changed into her traveling attire, and they proceeded to Milton’s car, which had been appropriately decorated for the occasion. When the car would not start, Milton’s brother seemed too interested in the reasons for the problem. Milton suspected some payback from him, because prior to Charles’ wedding, Milton made the mistake of giving the keys to his brothers’ car to some “friends” who did more than just decorate the car. After a few awkward minutes, Charles connected the spark plug and the car started and they began their honeymoon experience.
The couple had planned to spend the night in Ft. Smith, a trip of about two hours or so. But when they tried to check in, they were told that there was a fireman’s convention in town and that all the rooms in the city were filled. Reluctantly they continued their journey toward Eureka Springs, and found a motel beside the highway and checked in.
The next morning, the couple packed up and headed out to their ultimate destination—Eureka Springs. As they were leaving the motel, they spotted a huge sign that they had not seen the night before. The sign indicated that this was a motel and “sanitarium.” They had a good laugh about that, but were grateful for any port in a storm.
In 1962, there were no freeways in that part of the country, so the travel time to Eureka Springs took longer than it would today. Still, they enjoyed the trip no matter how long it took. Nannette was the navigator, spreading the map out, and giving directions. At times, her advice was a bit tardy, and the expression “You should turn—right back there,” became a source of amusement. They would joke about missing a turn, saying they were taking the “scenic route.” Along their journey, they found a car wash, and had the car cleaned of the “Honeymoon” messages that friends had lovingly bestowed upon it.
Eventually, they reached their destination and began their stay at the Mt Airy motel, with individual cabins. They took advantage of the touristy sites, visiting the church with the entrance through the bell tower. The church was constructed on the side of a steep hill, and the only entrance was through the bell tower. They also took side trips up into Missouri, visiting a fish hatchery along the Roaring River.
Their time in Eureka Springs coincided with a Folk Music Festival, and they enjoyed some outdoor concerts. However, they heard the then-popular song “Wolverton Mountain” one too many times. All too soon, it was time to return to Little Rock and Many, and to begin their life together in the historic city of Savannah Georgia.
Dick Vandiver, Nannette’s brother-in-law, had arranged for a trailer to transport the wedding gifts they had received. Unfortunately, the trailer was of the larger size, and their wedding haul was much too small to occupy the space the trailer afforded. This would prove to be problematic later because the bumper on Milton’s car was of spring steel, which meant it would bend under the weight of the trailer, causing it to occasionally drag the pavement. The highway was mostly two-lane, and ran through many small towns from Louisiana through Alabama and finally to Georgia.
Savannah and the birth of Phillip
Arriving at their destination, they were hosted graciously by Mrs. Yates, a widow, and her daughter Carolyn. The pastor of the church, Dr. H. E. Gaddy, himself chauffeured them around Savannah, searching for housing. Thankfully his car was equipped with air conditioning, which provided relief from the heat and humidity of their adopted city. It didn’t take them long to discover that they were not in Texas or Arkansas any more. As they explored one of the apartments, the owner asked very pointedly “Are you native Savannahians?” with a decided Savannah accent. Although they answered in the negative, it was the apartment itself that convinced them to look elsewhere.
Finally, they found a lovely garden apartment that suited them perfectly. The exterior was painted with a nice shade of pink, and so they often referred to it as the ‘Pink House.” Later, they learned that one of the premier restaurants in the city was called “The Pink House.” Mrs. King, the landlady, would call it the “Pink Hoose.”
Mrs. King had three daughters, and three Siamese cats. The cats would occasionally get out of the house, and the whole neighborhood was filled with the sound of their screeching. Mrs. King, of course, in her genteel way, would call out “Now boys, boys, that isn’t pleasant,” and eventually she would coax them back inside.
There were many things about the garden apartment or “Pink House” that appealed to them. Though the house was small and had only one bedroom and a living-dining room combination, there was a screened-in porch that was a delight. Many of their meals were consumed on that porch. They also entertained some single college students there. It also provided a “secret” storage place for Christmas gifts too large for placing under the tree. Since the house had a tin roof, it resounded like a drum whenever any object fell on it. Squirrels used the top of the roof as a bridge from one tree to another, perhaps to avoid the risks of the Siamese cats that might be prowling below. The problem for the couple was the squirrels were early risers, and would hit the roof with a bang, then scamper across to the next tree, a good alarm clock if that was needed.
The bed in the bedroom was about four feet high, which proved to be a challenge to those who were of small stature. Nannette claimed she had to get a running start in order to get into bed which was probably not too much of an exaggeration. The chifferobe was a heavy wooden object, which Milton assumed was too heavy for humans to lift. Imagine his surprise when he returned home one evening to find it on the other side of the small room. If he had any ideas about challenging Nannette to a wrestling match, that probably quenched that thought.
Of course there was the inevitable “disagreement” or quarrel. While staying at Milton’s folks house, Nannette observed that Mrs. Lites made grits for every breakfast. She told Nannette “this is one of Milton’s favorites.” So dutifully, Nannette proceeded to make grits for every breakfast. As she pointed out later, these were not instant grits and took some time to prepare. One morning the grits were hidden behind a cereal box. Milton innocently blurted out “Oh thank goodness we don’t have grits today.”Nannette was crushed and said “But your mother told me they were your favorite” to which Milton replied “She must have been thinking about my brother.” Thankfully the marriage survived this crisis.
Fall found the couple heavily involved in church activities at Immanuel Baptist Church.
Nannette proved to be a very valuable “helpmeet” to her husband throughout their many years of ministry, whether in the US, or abroad. In addition to directing the children’s choirs and the YWA, she also worked at the Baptist Book Store for a period of time. Milton assumed responsibility for the Adult, Youth and Junior choirs. A choir dedication service was planned for a Sunday evening, but a church-wide meeting to adopt the budget was also scheduled following the service. While the church discussed the budget, Nannette took the children to a separate location so they would not be too restless. During the dedication service, the pastor, Dr. Gaddy, often referred to Mr. Lites and his “good wife.” While Nannette was caring for the children, one of the young boys came up to her and asked quizzically, “Are you Mr. Lites’ good wife?” Milton often referred to her affectionately as MLGW, “Mr. Lites’ Good Wife.”
With the advent of fall, cooler temperatures prevailed, and the hot muggy summer morphed into more pleasant weather, the kind that reminded one of days spent hunting in the woods or watching football games, or attending fairs, etc. So, Nannette and Milton chose a Saturday afternoon to visit the local Farmer’s Market where they purchased a bag of apples and a football. Returning to their “pink House” they enjoyed the apples, and took advantage of the crisp fall afternoon to throw the football around.
The cooler weather was very much appreciated, but Nannette’s allergies began acting up, and she spent several days a week in bed, feeling miserable. So, for the first time Milton would hear a phrase that he had not heard before from her lips, “I want to go home.” After several instances of this complaint without an answer, he finally challenged her with his own phrase, “You want to go by plane or bus?” It would be a long time before he heard her phrase again.
Of course, Nannette’s absence from choir and worship services led to speculation that she was with child. Imagine their surprise nine months later when no birth was announced. It would be another five months before their son Phillip Allan made his entrance into the world. Tybee beach was a short distance away from Savannah, so the couple occasionally visited the site during the fall and winter months when they were the only ones there. Strolling the beach together proved to be very relaxing and restorative. One of their favorite restaurants was William’s Seafood which was on the way to the beach.
Milton was asked to lead the singing for a revival down in Folkston, Georgia. The evangelist was a young, peppy preacher who shared the word very effectively. The pastor wore a black hat, very similar to those that some priests wore in Europe long ago. So the young preacher dubbed him “the pope of Folkston.” Little did Milton know at the time that years later he would meet a resident of Folkston in China. But that comes later in the story. Near the close of the meeting, Nannette called to tell him that they were expecting. He shared this with the young evangelist and boasted that he would be the first to leave after the final service. The evangelist indicated that he would be the first to leave. To Milton’s surprise, at the close of the final service, the evangelist asked Milton to lead the closing prayer, and slipped out the back door, proving true to his word. Nevertheless, Milton beat a hasty retreat after the prayer and later arrived back in Savannah..
Nannette and Milton became close friends with several couples in the church. Two older couples served as surrogate grandparents, partly because their schedules allowed them free time during the day. Ozzie and Sara Walker, and Gladys and Charlie Wilkins were invaluable in providing friendship and encouragement to the young couple, as well as helping with baby-sitting when needed. Ozzie worked at Western Union, the night shift, which allowed him free time during the day. Charlie worked on the Seaboard Railroad, and he also had free time between shifts. Oz and Charlie began a Wednesday morning prayer meeting, which allowed Nannette to attend when young Phillip came along as Milton volunteered to stay home with Phillip during this time.
Another couple with whom they formed a close relationship was Karl and Phyllis Branch. They were close to the same age, and shared a number of mutual interests. Karl was the director of the Sunday School department that the Lites attended. The Branches had a young son named Karl Junior, and they enjoyed sharing stories about Karl Jr with the Lites. They also enjoyed good classical music which was another thing they had in common. One day Nannette attempted to call Milton at work, but dialed the Branches’ number instead. When Phyllis answered the phone, Nannette was surprised, and somewhat suspicious. She asked rather stiffly “Is Milton there?” Phyllis was a bit amused by the tone and nature of Nannette’s question and responded playfully “No…should he be?” When Nannette realized who it was, they both had a good laugh. One of the results of moving to another city is losing friendships, if they are not maintained. Unfortunately, the Lites did not continue their relationships with either of these couples, something they regretted later in life.
With Phillip’s arrival, they needed a larger apartment, so the couple moved to the Chelsea apartments, which had two bedrooms and a large living-dining room. The manager lived on the first floor and kept several Beagle dogs in a pen just out back. Nannette’s mother flew from Little Rock “following the stork” as she would say, and stayed until Phillip was born. One morning Milton was scheduled to go deep sea fishing with Charlie and his son, but changed his mind at the last minute. Unaware of this change, Mrs. Webb was asleep in the next room when Mr. Allen’s dog began baying. Hearing the sound, Mrs. Webb assumed it was Nannette and that she had gone into labor. She bounded out of bed and rushed into the couple’s bedroom, only to be greeted by both Milton and Nannette, who was not in pain. She was chagrined, of course, but they all had a good laugh.
The time came for Phillip to be born, and of course It was on a choir rehearsal night. Milton took her to Candler-Telfair hospital, and she was checked in, awaiting the birth of their first child. At 1:42 in the morning, young Phil was born, and the doctor brought him out for Milton to see. Phil had long black hair, and appeared to be healthy, so reluctantly Milton made his way back home. The next morning, he returned to the hospital to hear some disturbing news. As he entered the floor where Nannette’s room was, the nurse stopped him and asked if he had been advised as to the situation. Since he had not, she proceeded to relate to him that the night nurse had given Nannette a shot perhaps prematurely, and there was some difficulty with the birth. At any rate, she said that the child was in an incubator because one lung did not inflate. When Milton saw Phil for the second time, he noticed that he was a dusky color, indicating some problems with getting enough oxygen. He consoled Nannette with the fact that he was breathing, and seemed to be eating well.
Over the week-end, one doctor came by and Nannette was asleep. He left a curt note saying ,“the patient is the same.” This really upset them both, as they had expected to hear some encouraging words. As the week progressed, there was more disturbing news. The doctor indicated that they had heard a heart murmur during some testing. Of course, a heart murmur is simply an unusual noise, and a number of folks have led normal lives with one, but doctors take it very seriously. Friends of the couple began sharing the need for prayer with the churches around the city. The situation began to improve, and they attributed the improvement to the prayer efforts of friends and church members. The doctor changed the incubator for a newer one, and immediately Phillip began to improve. His color became normal and his breathing less labored. The doctors still maintained that there was cause for concern, as they seemed to hear an unusual noise in his heart, commonly known as a heart murmur. He would begin taking a dose of heart medicine, something that would continue for some time.
Nannette’s mother came to the hospital for a visit, and as she was viewing Phillip in the “preemie” section, she overheard someone exclaim over his size. Not one to miss an opportunity for a good laugh, she replied “Just think how big he would have been if he had been full term.”
After several weeks, they were able to take Phillip home, but Nannette needed some minor surgery, so the Wilkins volunteered to keep him at their house until she recovered. From that time forth, “Big Charlie” as he was affectionately called, took credit for whatever new skill Phillip displayed. “I taught him that,” was his favorite saying.
Nannette and Milton worked out a schedule for feeding young Phillip—Nannette took the two o’clock a.m. feeding, and Milton got up for the six o’clock feeding. However, Milton was so fascinated with every new move that young Phillip made, he would often wake Nannette up saying, “You’ve got to see this.” As Phillip grew, the time came for some “solid” food. As soon as the first bite entered his mouth, he uttered his first word “Gack!” And promptly spit it out. This word has been added to the Lites’ vocabulary to express a bad taste in ones’ mouth.
As young Phillip grew, the parents began to relax a bit more, although he was still taking the heart medicine.
Columbus Calls
Although both Milton and Nannette loved Savannah and the church they served, still there were times when things did not go as they had planned. For example, the pastor invited the former minister of music to visit the church and took an offering for him on Milton and Nannette’s first anniversary.
Two years into their ministry, they were contacted by a church in Columbus, GA, and a committee came to Savannah for an interview. Following the church service, the committee offered to take them out for a meal. Milton suggested the “Pirates’ House,” a popular and very unique dining place. Upon entering the restaurant, Milton was chagrined to see a huge wine glass displayed at the front entrance.
He had some reservations then about his choice, fearing the committee might not look
favorably on his selection. However, his fears proved to be groundless, as the group was fascinated by the décor and the dining fare iteself. In one corner there was an open pit, described as the place where drunken sailors were dumped only to find themselves at sea when they woke up.
In the discussion over the church in Columbus, it became known that the pastor of the church was acquainted with Milton’s older sister, having known her at Louisiana College. They were invited to visit the church in Columbus, and soon thereafter they made the move to the new location. The church had had a music program previously, and it was not long before excitment began to build. Youth choirs and children’s choirs were started and the new ministry was under way.
One of the major benefits of the move was finding a new cardiologist for young Phillip. This doctor Flowers was young himself, and had established a good reputation in his field. After examining Phillip, the doctor called the couple in for a consultation. He showed them Phillip’s charts, which all showed normal growth patters, although Phillip himself was rather thin. His advice was to take the child home and enjoy him. His response to the concerns of a heart murmur by the doctors in Savannah was this, “Well, we say that cardiologists sometimes they hear things in their stethoscopes.” So the parents took Phillip home and treated him as a normal, healthy, growing two year old.
Life in Columbus, Georgia became a busy one for the couple, as they plunged into their work with enthusiasm and hope. The choirs responded to their efforts, and progress was made in most areas. Nannette was offered a position at a neighboring church, and the pastor’s wife volunteered to keep young Phillip. Because he was still growing, he tended to be a bit on the thin side. She assumed that he was not getting enough nourishment at home, so she frequently bragged at how good his appetite was in her home. Of course, Nannette defended herself as a good mother who provided good meals for Phillip. It was simply a matter of his developing at his own pace, but the pastor’s wife was not convinced.
Nannette continued to balance working, directing the children’s choir, caring for her husband and child, while participating in the Women’s Missionary Union activities. Phillip often accompanied her to these meetings. One day he raced up the stairs and into Milton’s office to announce “I’ve been to Dumb M U.”
Then the church called a minister of education, a much-needed staff member. Unfortunately, his family had some special needs, including his wife, who was undergoing certain changes that affected her moods. The pastor’s wife assumed a protective role, which caused some strife within the staff members. The family fellowships were such a success in Savannah, Nannette was encouraged to begin them in Columbus. The church really responded to the idea, and it became a regular part of church life. In addition, Nannette did solo work in the church worship service. This led to a visit from the wife of the minister of education, who complained to Nannette that she was too much in the limelight, and should step back in deference to her and the pastor’s wife. Nannette was not intimidated, and as she recalls she did a solo in the next church service. This did not make relations any smoother between the other two staff wives and Nannette.
Milton had begun singing in the “Sons of Jubal,” the performing group of Ministers of Music from churches in Georgia. Nannette dubbed them “the Sons of Perdition,” as it took Milton away from home more often than she would have liked.
Their success of the Youth Choir was gratifying to Milton because some misunderstandings with some choir members in Savannah had led to a boycott of the choir by some young people. Several of the Youth Choir in Columbus became regular visitors in the Lites’ home, due to a sympathetic ear from Nannette. These young people would call to ask if we had company. When she would say no, they would say “Would you like some?” Of course she responded positively, not knowing they were just around the corner. Other Youth Choir members would come over to play games and just fellowship. It proved to be a good ministry by both Milton and Nannette. The youth often referred to their favorite recreation area alternatively as “Ida Casons” or “Callaway Gardens, which was confusing at first. Then they learned that the complete name for the area was “Ida Cason Calloway Gardens.”
But the success with the choir program only served to deepen the resentment from other staff members, and the relationship between them and the pastor and Minister of Education continued to be strained.
Milton had been invited to Alabama as a judge in a Church Music Festival, led by the Church Music Secretary there. As a result, he received a call from a church in South Alabama to come as their Minister of Music. After dealing with some reservations about the location and starting over in a new church, they decided to make the move. The uneasy relationships with the other staff members was a definite factor in the move. The couple had not forgotten their commitment to foreign missions, and renewed their decision prior to leaving Columbus for Alabama.
The move to Elba, Alabama
The couple received a call to become the minister of music at Elba, Alabama, a small town in south Alabama, just north of the Florida line. It was hard to consider leaving a very satisfying ministry in Columbus, but after much prayer and discussion, the decision was made to move to Elba, Alabama to assume the duties of Minister of Music at the First Baptist Church. Someone remarked that Milton would be Minister of Music for the town of Elba, which in some ways became a reality. There were two functioning choirs–Adult, and Junior choir. The pastor’s wife directed the Junior choir, and a layman led the Adult choir.
The task of organizing a graded choir program was one that the couple undertook with enthusiasm. The Youth Choir began rehearsing and would sing occasionally during the evening service. The Junior choir began to grow, and showed great promise. Several of the members would later find themselves in leadership positions as missionaries, college professors, and leaders in Baptist State convention positions. To say they were talented would be an understatement.
Nannette began directing the children’s choir, and hosting the monthly Family Night Fellowship. Not long after moving to Elba, she became pregnant with the couple’s second child, Emily Anne Lites. The first house they lived in was a three bedroom home rented from one of the local merchants. While in Columbus, one of the pastors gave them a Beagle puppy, which Phillip named ‘Rascal Bobby Beagle.” Because there was no fenced yard, Rascal was tied to a small tree in the back yard. Phillip loved his dog, and enjoyed playing with him to the extent that their neighbor remarked that she was not sure if the boy thought he was part dog or the dog considered himself part boy.
Not long after the move, the Lites had visitors from Columbus, specifically from Eastern Heights Baptist Church. The delegation was not satisfied that the move from Columbus to Elba was voluntary, and came to Elba ostenibly to try to convince them to return to Columbus. After a brief visit they were convinced that Milton and Nannette had no plans to return to Columbus. They never mentioned the conflict with other staff members, believing it best not to broach the subject. Neverless, they did enjoy the visit and were impressed that the group cared enough about them to make the trip down to Elba.
Nannette enjoyed having time to be a housewife with young son Phillip. Milton continued to direct the choirs and was called on occasionally to help with some civic activities. The pastor of the church moved to a church in another city, and Milton assumed some pastoral duties, including representing the church on the Ministerial Council involving pastors of local churches. After several months, the church called a new pastor, and the church built a new pastorium for him. Then the Lites were given the option of moving into the “old” pastorium. At his request, the church installed a chain link fence, which allowed Rascal more freedom and gave the couple a feeling of safety. Since the house was very close to the town itself Nannette and Phillip would walk the short distance to shop. She often told him they were going to “find town.”
When Emily Anne Lites was born, she developed some respiratory problems, and the doctor suggested that she stay at home during the Spring. For the evening service, Phillip would sit on the front row prior to the sermon and Milton would join him after the music portion of the service. Even though Nannette was unable to attend, the Family Night Fellowships continued to function. One night during the service, Milton made the announcements and asked if there were any more announcements. Young Phillip immediately raised his hand. The entire church became curious as to what annuncement Phillip had to share. Hesitantly, Milton said “Phillip, what is your announcement?” Phillip stood up and reported “Mom said to be sure and bring her some cake from the fellowship.” Everyone enjoyed his announcement, and Milton did remember to take some cake home.
Milton began teaching voice to several members of the church as well as others in the community as opportunities arose. This included a church member who was a chiropractor and wanted to speak more clearly and with more volume. Another was a student with a lisp, which he discovered could be corrected with a proper placement of the tongue. Several were members of the Junior choir who would be promoted to the Youth choir and improve the choir to the extent that they would later go on a tour withinthe state.
Remembering their recommitment to serve the Lord as foreign missionaries the couple began corresponding with the Foreign Mission Board and completing the process toward appointment. As they were waiting for Emily to be born, a representative from the Board came to Elba for a visit. Phillip’s first question to him wa “Did you bring our sister baby?” He was very disappointed when the representative had to say no. In reviewing their qualifications, it was pointed out that Milton lacked the hours in theology courses from the Seminary. This meant that they would need to return to Seminary in order to fulfill that requirement. Although they would have preferred to return to Southwestern Seminary for further study, after considering the alternatives it seemed to them the best choice would be to go to New Orleans Baptist Seminary, since it was closer. In order to facilitate the process, the Board offered a “Laymens’ Loan” which would help to support the couple during the time of study. If they were appointed then they would not need to repay the loan.
So the Lites packed up their few belongings and made the trek to New Orleans and the next step in their journey toward missionary service.
The Move to New Orleans
Life at New Orleans Baptist Seminary was a very different experience than the Lites had known prior to moving on campus. Friendships were born from the beginning, as the uneasy situation with the administration seemed to unite students and faculty in a unique bond. It was not unusual for a faculty member to share their concerns about the school with a student over coffee in the cafeteria. Due to the small enrolment there was a cameraderie that would have been challenging with a larger student body. The close relationships within the body of music students included spouses as well.
Although the reaon for returning to Seminary was to complete the Foreign Mission Board’s theology requirement for Milton, the Dean of the School of Church Music strongy suggested that he pursue a GSRE (Graduate Specialiest in Religious Education.) By taking several doctoral level music seminars he could accomplish both within the time frame for study and prior to appointment. Since Milton loved to study, the decision was made to follow the Dean’s advice.
Nannette began working in the music library, assisting Miss Sara Thompson, who had been loaned to the New Orleans Seminary from Southwestern Seminary in order to bring their music library up to date. So Nannette was privileged to become well acquainted with the music faculty as well as the student body. The music faculty was very unique in a number of ways, but especially in the area of their hairstyles, The Dean of the Music School had fairly long locks, and kept them coifed perfectly, even to the extent of returning to his home between classes to make sure every hair was in place. One of the older professors wore a wig, and another younger professor was undergoing hair transplants, often coming to class with his head bandaged up.
It was no wonder that Nannette dubbed them “Hair Incorporated.”
When the pressure of school began to cause tension in the household, the couple decided to make Friday night as date night. They enlisted the daughter of a doctoral student to babysit so they could go out for dinner and a movie. Little did they know that the doctoral student would later become president of Southwestern Seminary.
While working in the music library, Nannette’s interest in music continued to develop so she began to study piano as well as music theory. She asked her husband’s advice about pursuing a music degree. Wisely, he did not discourage her, but pointed out that although she had the talent to be successful in that endeavor, it would be a long process. He suggested that she pray about what her real interests were and build on the study she had already done at the college level. This proved to be good advice, for in later years, she focused on the need for family counseling and pursued that course of study.
During the summer, they enrolled Phillip in a YMCA camp. The bus came by the Seminary campus each day to pick up Phillip and another boy his age. But one day he was late and missed the bus, so the parents loaded him in the car to transport him to the YMCA camp site. Milton was not sure exactly where the camp was located, but headed in that direction. Phillip was in the back seat anxiously waiting to find the location. Milton asked Phil “Phil, is this the way the bus goes?” Head in his hands, he did not look up, but replied weakly “Oh, I hope so!” The camp was found, and Phillip was deleivered and had a good experience.
Milton was called to be the interim minister of music at First Baptist Church, Picayune, Mississippi, located about fifty miles from New Orleans. Most of the time during his tenure there he made the trip alone, leading the music for both morning and evening services and rehearsing the Youth Choir. Nannette stayed home and cared for their two children. They continued the process leading up to appointment with the Foreign Mission Board, exploring possible areas of service in several geographical areas. One of the fields requesting a music missionary was the tiny country of Taiwan. One day during the summer of 1969, they met with the Area Director for East Asia, Dr. James Belote, and discussed the request from the Taiwan Baptist Mission for a music missionary. They felt led in that direction, and when they returned to the music building, their sense of God’s call to Taiwan was confirmed when they were introduced to Benjamin Kuo who was from Taiwan and was on campus to study that summer. Benjamin became a valuable resource for them as they gained much information and inspiration from their conversations.
The time came for medical and psychological evaluations, which meant they had to leave their children with grandparents while they flew to Atlanta to meet with the psychiatrist. Medical tests were done in New Orleans. After psychological and medical evaluations, they awaited the call from Richmond to tell them they were approved for appointment. One day as Milton was visiting the office of Mel Torstrick, local representative of the Foreigh Mission Board, they were engaged in conversation when Mel casually said “Oh by the way, I had a call from Louis Cobbs, and you have been approved.” Milton could hardly contain his joy and asked to use the phone to tell Nannette the good news. When she answered the phone, he blurted out “Oh Louis cobbed, and we are approved.”
So early in November they flew to Richmond for the appointment process. During the week, they met other candidates who would be appointed along with Nannette and Milton. It was a very high moment for them as their names were called by Dr. James Baker Cauthen, president of the Foreign Mission Board. We were told that Dr Cauthen liked to introduce the missionaries individually, and usually memorized their information. For some inexplicable reason, the information cards for each missionary uint were mixed up, and Dr Cauthen had to use them in his introduction during the ceremony. When he came to one fo the single missionaries, he said “Ramona Jo Yates” and seeing the expression on her face, he quickly said “they don’t call you the whole thing do they?” She replied softly “No sir” “Then what do they call you,” he asked.
“Just Jo” she said. And he continued with the appointment service. Just another indication of Dr. Cauthen’s sensitivity about people’s needs. The phrase that he used in his address was remembered by all those being appointed, “Whatever things you take with you, remember to take them in your hands, not in your hearts.” This was a reminder that circumstances could change and you could lose all your possessions overnight. Dr. Cauthen, along with many other veteran missionaries had had that experience.
With the appointment behind them, Nannette and Milton flew back to New Orleans and drove up to Many to collect their children. They were unaware of the danger facing the Gulf Coast as Hurrican Camille was approaching. The next day, they began the trek back to New Orleans to complete the semester and to prepare for their Orientation experience. As they approached Baton Rouge, they tuned in to one of their favorite radio stations WWL to listen to the news. To their surprise and shock, the announcer was reading off the names of those who were alive and where they could be reached. Name after name was read, and it began to dawn upon them that something really bad had occurred during the night, unaware of the destruction that had taken place. Fortunately, New Orleans was spared, but devastation was unleashed on parts of Mississippi.
The Fall semester was completed, their possessions were crated up to be shipped to their port of embarkation , San Francisco, following four weeks of orientation. The family drove to Many to spend Christmas with Milton’s folks. After that, they headed to Callaway Gardens, just north of Columbus, Georgia.
Missionary Orientation at Calloway Gardens
The Missionary Orientation began in January, the second session to be held at Calloway Gardens. The Gardens was a vacation spot which normally was inhabited by visitors during the warm summer months. The first session in the fall had enjoyed fairly good weather, but the session the Lites attended began with a hard freeze. The cabins were not insulated, but were heated. The problem was that the water lines were frozen, and so some families were moved to the Holiday Inn nearby. The site for the Lites’ cabin had one spigot running water constantly in the parking lot.
The weather improved gradually, and the Orientation session began. There were three couples at the Orientation who had been appointed as music missionaries. Music responsibilities during the sessions involved leading worship and providing special music. In addition, a choir was organized that would sing for various mission activities at local churches. These responsibilities were divided among the three missionaries, and they took turns directing the choir. The sessions were held during the morning hours, and some meals were provided at the Gardens’ restaurant. Those who lived near enough would ride bicycles the short distance, with smaller children perched on a seat behind the peddler.
An Easter service was conducted on the shores of the lake, the choir led by Milton himself. One of the benefits of the Spring Orientation was the beauty of the azaleas which were blooming everywhere. As the Orientation sessions drew to a close, those missionaries traveling to Spanish speaking countries left to go directly to their place of service, or to Costa Rica to study the Spanish language. The Lites learned that they would not be traveling directly to Taiwan, due to the Baptist World Alliance being held in Japan and the Taiwan missionaries were anticipating many visitors to their island. So the Lites would not be going to Taiwan until the end of the summer. But they were able to attend Foreign Missions Week at Ridgecrest, North Carolina, where they met several missionary families from Taiwan.